Catching Up and Stupidity
by Apple Snapple
Summary: Mukahi tries to catch up with Math, Science, History, Geography, and English. Someone please explain to him how to multiply. And that numbers can't have children. Jirou really needs to use other explanations. Rated T. Oneshot


**I'm bored again.**

**So sue me.**

**Sheesh.**

**Everyone loves Mukahi's stupidity. Sometimes.**

* * *

"Do birds have sex?" Mukahi asked one day. They were studying (AGAIN) because Mukahi needed to catch up with Math, Science, History, Geography, AND English.

"Gakuto, what brought this up?" Oshitari asked.

"Well we ARE talking about science...so like...I was curious."

"Don't ask that question ever again."

"Awww. But we're on biology!"

"We're not in the reproduction unit, Gakuto."

"Aw...Then test me!"

Oshitari sighed. "What is the bone in the elbow area called?" he asked, trying to make it easier for Mukahi to understand.

"Isn't that like, the funny bone? Like, the one that hurts really bad if you hit it with a book?"

"..."

"Wait, make that was the bone that covers the brain."

"..."

"What?"

"Neither of your answers were right."

"You're talking to the person who has 130 words per minute!"

"With horrible spelling."

"Aw, whatever. No one's complaining." Mukahi began poking Jirou. "Wake up."

Jirou's eyes flew open. "JAPAN HAS FOUR CRATERS!" he suddenly shouted.

Shishido and Atobe looked up. "What the hell?"

"..."

Mukahi stared. "Japan has four craters? Cool!"

"If he was talking about the moon, he'd still be wrong," Shishido muttered.

"Ore-sama does not think Japan has four craters."

"..."

Oshitari sighed. "How about we just skip to geography?"

"Okay!"

Oshitari pointed at a country. "Gakuto, what is this country called?"

"Alaska!" Mukahi replied.

"..." Everyone stared.

"Okay, first of all, ALASKA ISN'T A COUNTRY! And second of all, that's China!" This from Shishido.

"Alaska is soooooo a country," Mukahi said.

"How?"

"Alaska is the place where they have lots and lots of penguins."

"Okay, Alaska does not have penguins. And that doesn't prove that Alaska is a country."

"But like, California is a country too! And, Utah! And New Hampshire!"

"...Dude, they're called states."

"Nuh uh!"

Atobe smacked his forehead. "Gakuto, 10 laps."

"What? You can't order me laps! We're studying!"

"Then stop being stupid."

"Awwww."

"Gakuto, let's just skip to Math," Oshitari said.

"Oh! Oh! I want to explain multiplication!" Jirou said.

"Okay...go ahead."

"Yay!" Jirou walked over to the whiteboard and began scribbling with a marker. "So like, 7 times 3 is really easy! The 7 likes the 3, so they marry and have lots of kids! They have 21 kids, because you can do it either way. The 3 can have sex with the 7 like, 3 times, and each time they have sex 7 kids come out! Or, the 7 can have sex with the 3 like, 7 times, so each time they have sex 3 kids come out! So basically, you've got 21 kids either way!"

"..." Everyone stared.

"I don't even want to ask," Shishido muttered.

"I totally got that!" Mukahi exclaimed. "Dude, you make things so easy now! So like, 4 times 5 is easy too! The 4 likes the 5 so they get married! Then they have...20 kids!"

"Ore-sama does not believe Mukahi understood that crazy explanation."

"I really regret letting Jirou explain Math. But at least Gakuto got it." Oshitari shrugged.

"English is next!" Mukahi shouted.

"..."

"Wow, he's really enthusiastic about this now," Shishido said.

"I think it's because of that crazy explanation Jirou gave."

"..."

"Yuushi! Test me!"

Oshitari sighed and procceeded to show Mukahi a flashcard. "Gakuto, what is this?"

"It's...ummm...a chicken?"

"In English."

"Oh. _Tree._"

"Gakuto, you just said 'tree' in English."

"Nuh-uh! I said chicken!"

"Gakuto, you said tree."

"Awww. So, how are you supposed to say it?"

"_Chicken."_

"I thought that was dog."

"..."

Jirou stood up. "I want to explain English!"

Oshitari sighed. "Go ahead."

"I really do NOT want to know how he's going to explain this one," Shishido said.

"There's no other way to explain English."

"Ugh."

Jirou showed Mukahi another flashcard. "What's this?"

_"Apple."_

"No, it's a cow."

"That's what I just said."

"You said apple."

"Aw..."

"Okay, it's like this. All you have to know is that they're only going to test you about apples, dogs, cats, chickens, cows, bananas."

"Okay, so I only memorize _apple, dog, cat, chicken, cow, and banana?"_

Everyone stared.

"Dude, Jirou, you didn't even explain to him what any of those were in English and he already got it." Shishido said.

"Yay! I pass!" Mukahi jumped around.

"Now we only have to learn about history." Oshitari said.

"Oh, that's easy!" Jirou exclaimed. "You only need to know that they fought for a hundred years. Think of it as trying to make it to nationals for a hundred years! Like, just battling every year!"

"Oh."

Everyone stared.

"But, then, wouldn't people die?"

"Exactly! Think of it as people dropping dead randomly after every tennis match! Even the coach dies sometimes!"

"Okay!"

"..."

"I really do NOT want to know!"

Sheesh.

* * *

**Hahaha. Numbers having sex. That totally rocked.**

**Please review!**


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